End of January.

Wow. Tomorrow is February... and the beginning of Finals week! Ugh. I'm dreading Thursday & Friday, but afterwards it'll be fun. Hopefully. Haha. Anyway... it's the end of January! End of the first month of 2010. I think the year started out pretty well. I'm excited for the rest of this year. Haha. I've improved my grades, met some cool new people, and started working/volunteering some place new all in this month alone. It's been fun. Can't wait til June though. I turn 16 which means I'll be able to get on the payroll ($15/hour weekdays & $35/hour on Sundays) for the KW PAC/theatre, I get my license, and schools out! :D Cannot wait.

Ummmm... what else is there for now... I don't know. I wrote myself a letter today because I was too lazy to get on the computer to actually blog. The letter kind of relates to this too since I'm talking about future stuff I guess....

Here it goes:

Dear Self,

What do you want from life? What comes first in life/what's most important? The future seems dark, but not in the way your might think. I just can't see it very clearly right now. I wish I could, but I just can't. I want to a successful life career wise... I want to be able to love what I do, but I don't know what I want to do. And what if what I want to do won't hold up financially? How much would it cost to get there in the first place? What about college? Ugh. I hate not knowing, but the things I do know make me happy.

So I have a list of things I want to/could do in the future. Things that I know I would love/make me happy, despite the level of difficulty of getting there or earnings, etc.

• Theatre/movie production in general.
• Museum curator.
• Archivist.
• Book Publisher.
• Book Editor.
• Magazine Editor?
• Some kind of editor, haha.
• Poet.
• Librarian?
• Historian/Professor? (Renaissance/Euro/World history)

Some of that stuff is just the general area of whatever. Ah, I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. Haha. Can you see me as any of those things? I can't... maybe. I want to do ALL of those things, but at the same time I know I can't. At least I don't think I can... haha, who knows. (:

Alright... that's all I have to say for now. I might've missed some stuff on that list, but I don't care right now. I'll probably add to it later on in life or something. Good night everyone. Sweet dreams.

P.S. My last post used to be titled 'ShoutOuts,' but I realized I forgot the shout-outs all together, so I renamed it 'Home.'

Home.

So life is good. Better than I thought it could ever be.

I finally got Left4Dead and Call of Duty/Modern Warfare!

Just the first ones, but it's better than nothing.

I'm weird, but whatever. I don't care. Life is good. Hahaha.

So here is how I spend my Saturday...

• Museum.
• Store with dad... bought Safeway Chinese food. Haha.
• Library w/Patrek. Ate above Chinese food & studied.
• Cutters Point.
• Home. (:

Now I'm about to go play Left4Dead. First I need to make two lists. One of places practically like home. And the other of things to do... other than play x-box.

Home:

• Library.
• Theatre (KW PAC).
• Museum.
• Cutters Point.
• Maddie's House.
• Kelsey's House.
• My house :D

To Do:

• Study...
• ...algebra.
• ...biology.
• Laundry.
• Bio. extra credit.
• Bio. brochure.
• Ethics journal.
• Clean room/vacuum.

I feel like I might've missed some places practically like home... but I received a quote that said something about home being where the heart is, so it's all good. Now off to get stuff done on my to do list... starting with Left4Dead!

Just kidding. (:

Stress/Fear.

"Everyday
I tell myself
not to fall in love...

But everyday
I find myself
falling a little more."

Blah... I don't know. I'm stuck. I can't seem to find the words/right words to finish any of my poems. I mean most of them look finished, but they don't feel like they should be. I don't understand.

I'm so scared right now, like maybe close to tears? This'll pass within the hour, but what my mom said to me earlier just makes me want to cry. I don't know why it hurt so much. I'm just really conflicted. I know she didn't mean to make it hurt... I'm pretty sure she doesn't know.

I think the only reason I'm freaking out right now is because of finals and biology. I have two tests/quizzes tomorrow. Bleh. I've been working so hard and straight A's would be nice. But when I asked my mom if I can hang with Nikki on Friday/tomorrow and she says me...

"I don't care if you hang out with your friends, but as soon as your grades go down and you get a B, I'm taking everything away... including hanging out with your friends."

It seems unfair, but at the same time it was to be expected and I completely understand what my mom is saying, but still it really freaked me out today...

I can't think straight.

My mind is all jumbled up.

I overthink. I underthink.

My brain hurts right now,

but not as much as my heart :/

The (My) Universe.

I just realized I posted helluh much yesterday. Haha. I'm sorry! This will be my last post for a while. Or at least I'll try to restrain myself. =P I just feel like I really have to post this last thing... it's the poem I've been working on... it looks finished to me, but it doesn't feel like it is. I don't want it to waste away collecting... dust? Haha. I don't know. Just keep in mind that this isn't a completed thing. I'm probably going to be working on this one a lot. I want to finish this one, but I just can't at the moment.

I was living on my own little planet.
Alone, and for a while, I wasn't lonely.
Then you came crashing into my life
Idk why, but I let you in and you only.

You're from an unknown world
it scares me... you & your invasion.
You threw my planet off its orbit...
Now I think you just might be my salvation.

Insomniac.

I don't even know what it is anymore... I mean I have an idea, but I'm not sure. I don't know. Just bleh. Haha. So I got most of the stuff done on my to do list... I'm just freaking out inside about biology. I just want it to be Friday for two reasons. One, I can get this biology quiz out of the way and two, hanging out with some people. (:

Ok. The client/event website can be finished during class... so that can be crossed off. And I'm pretty sure chapter two is the only chapter that I don't really know/understand. It's all good then right?

Anyway, let's see what I got done... then maybe I can fall asleep:

• Ch. 2 Algebra Review
• Work on Client/Event Site
• Study AP bio. Chapter 11 Quiz on Friday
• Research Angelman Syndrome (not as happy as it sounds)
• Start genetic disorder brochure (Due Feb. 3rd)
• Fill out/finish KW yearbook staff application
• Finish up HCI #14

I just gotta work harder in biology. ):

Can it be Friday yet?

Friday Plans - Chill with Nikki & people.

Saturday Plans - Working at the museum (9:45AM to 1:15PM)

Sunday Plans - Church?

I couldn't sleep, so I've been watching RayWilliamJohnson on YouTube. Haha. Anyway... I think I can finally go to bed. I'm not going to wake up in the morning, but whatever :P

Good Night.

Flooded.

Ah! Before I forget my hero for the hour would probably be Maddie's mom. Haha. I love the Sharp Family. Anyway, I'm in a weird mood. Hahaha. Like I'm super stressed out!, but I really feel like laughing and dancing like a complete moron. Why? Don't ask because I'm not sure.

Right now, my playlist is making me happy. I found my yearbook staff application, so that's happy. My best friends are amazing, so that's happy. I'm taking a day to do work and work (mostly) only. Haha. Ummmm... I've been writing like crazy today. I really want to just write/type. I want to write a whole book! Ok, maybe not that much, but you catch my drift. I wrote a new poem... check it out. (http://mltpoetry.blogspot.com/) And I'm currently working on another one that I like, but can't seem to finish. Grrr...

Haha. I need someone to laugh with right now, but all people are gone now. I guess I'll get to work. First I have two lists to share. One of things to do/get done because I need to get it out of my system and a list of priorities.

To Do:

• Ch. 2 Algebra Review
• Work on Client/Event Site
• Study AP bio. Chapter 11 Quiz on Friday
• Research Angelman Syndrome (not as happy as it sounds)
• Start genetic disorder brochure (Due Feb. 3rd)
• Fill out/finish KW yearbook staff application
• Finish up HCI #14

Priorities (in no particular order yet):

• School. Academics. AP biology. (bleh)
• Theatre
• Golf
• Museum
• Sister/Family
• Chores/House work
• Friends
• Guys/Love/Falling

I plan to put my priorities in order later after I finish my homework/studies. Is there anything I might've missed that should go under my priorities list?

Comment & let me know!

Question of the Day.

Do you believe in fate or destiny?

Comment and let me know.

P.S. Don't just say 'yes' or 'no' cuz that's boring! Haha. If you can't come up with a real explanation, then make up one that'll make people laugh. Just TRY to be serious. Haha. (:

Have a nice day! Haha.

Tuesdays...

Did today really happen? It seems all too good. Why do I question all the good things that happen? I'm suddenly super scared. Why?! Why can't I just be happy without feeling this...

Aside from being absolutely terrified... I thought today was amazing. Tuesdays always are.

"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."

~ John Barrymore

Here's a breakdown of today's events... the school day because I feel that after school deserves it's own list entirely:

• 1st Period - Math Review. Nothing huge.
• 2nd Period - No TOLO... just a fun poker party.
• 3rd Period - Finished my lab worksheet on time.
• 4th Period - Learned something new about someone. 95% for ISN binder & 97% on the vocabulary final exam!!! Yay!
• 5th Period - Pretty much nothing. Watched an intense drug video.
• 6th Period - Theatre Tech. is always fun.

After School:

• Met up with Nat Attack & walked to the library.
• Got work done! Haha. I'm super amazed. (:
• Went to Jack in the Box. Yum!
• And... I'm not sure what happened after that. I don't know what it was exactly... but it was good. At least I'm hoping it was.

That last list seems small to me now... but I don't know. It's a lot 'bigger' than it seems after put into text format. I don't know. I'm still not sure what happened tonight, but it... maybe not 'right,' but it definitely didn't seem 'wrong.' It did feel right... I don't know what to think right now. All I can think right now is that tonight & today was just... pretty amazing.

New Poem: http://mltpoetry.blogspot.com/

Monday.

Had a great day for a Monday. Hahaha. I bet tomorrow is going to be fun too. (: Tuesdays always are. But yeah, so I thought today was great. We didn't really do anything in math. Random stuff in digital design plus drawing funny pictures with Dima. Turns out the biology lab worksheet wasn't due today! I have nothing to worry about in English or health. I think I'm just worried about theatre tech now. She made me Master Electrician, so I'm pretty much in charge of the 2nd cat. I don't like being 'in charge' because I feel bad if I feel like I'm being too bossy or something. Hahaha. But it was bound to happen in that class eventually.

I spent most of my day at the library... with a plan to actually get stuff done. I mean I got SOME... a little bit... eh, stuff got done. Haha. I blame those people I ran into... no one in particular... but it's alright (: I don't think I remember the last time I talked to someone like that in person without really worrying about anything in a long time. It was different, but a lot of fun.

I'm going to the library again tomorrow,

but I will definitely get stuff done first. =P

Fun games to play:

-Tic Tac Toe

-Hangman

-I Spy

-20 Questions... or random questions xD

Hero of the Hour (a couple hours ago): Patrek.

Plans.

If you haven't noticed... my playlist changed. I kind of stole it from Nikki... Yiruma just makes me feel better when I'm all stressed out (I've recently learned this). Stress! Ugh. I suddenly had this deluge of stress once I realized what time it was and tomorrow is another school day. I needed to make a list of stuff so that I could sleep because if I don't... I won't sleep. And I need to get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I'll probably spend most of it at the library because I don't plan to stay after school past 5pm again. It's kind of scary. Hahahaha.

Things I will be stressed out about:

• Health Project (Due Wednesday)
• AP Biology (everything bio. is stressful)
• Digital Design (I can't find my flash drive D: And I need to seriously get working on my client site/web site)
• FINALS (why wouldn't I be stressed about this?!)
• The Play (always stressful)
• Surprise Birthday Bash thingy (planning it)
• Museum (sort of)
• TOLO (sort of)

I'm just freaking out a little bit inside. Hahaha. I just have to remind myself of all the things to look forward to.

Things I'm looking forward to:

• End of 1st semester
• Start of 2nd semester
• END of finals
• TOLO (maybe)
• The Play (CAST PARTY)
• Surprise birthday bash thingy!
• End of the school year...

Hahahaha. Wow... I just realized that the things on that first list are a lot like the ones on the second list. Oh well. It's gonna be tough, but I'll make it. It'll be worth it. (:

Excitement.

Ok, first I have to post this picture because it makes me laugh and I thought of it after we ate Chinese food at Golden Phoenix.

(#16 is my favorite.)

Ok, so now that that is out of the way... hahaha. I had a good day I guess. I've been kind of freaking out because I can't find my flash drive, but I'm pretty sure my mom has it and just isn't telling me. So it's all good. I just got back from the rolling skating rink for my baby cousins birthday party. So much fun. I should be working on my biology lab worksheet, but I wanted to post the above image. (= Plus I'm planning a huge birthday bash for a bunch of my friends. I'm excited and hope they love it, but it's a couple months from now. I'm just planning ahead. :D

I just realized that there is one more week until the month of January is over. I don't know why I'm so amazed by it. Haha. Weird. February should be some fun... finals, TOLO, Valentines Day... I don't think that last one counts though. It's a ridiculous holiday, but I don't why it bugs me sometimes. Eh. Whatever. Finals are exciting! Not. And TOLO... why does it bother me so much that I'm going? I don't understand. Does it bother me that I'm going... or is it the person I'm going with that bothers me?

Opening Up.

"If it isn't important enough to take a risk to go after, then it isn't important enough to obtain!"

- Unknown

What is this supposed to refer to? Is it talking about careers/futures? Love? Or the last slice of pizza? I don't know, but I don't think it really matters to me. My entire life I've been living in a comfort zone. Always afraid to take risks or take chances or just cross that line. I talked about it during my English presentation. I fear the dark because when I think of the dark I think of the unknown/not knowing. In the dark I don't know what's around me or right in front of me. I could be standing on the edge of a cliff and live my entire life in fear that I might fall. I don't want to live like that anymore. I've gotten better since 7th/8th grade, but I still have to work on a lot of stuff. I'm afraid to say whats on my mind in fear of saying the wrong thing... but when I don't say something it's usually too late and I've lost my chance. Like I said, I've gotten better, but only when it comes to school and getting ahead. I've gotten no where when it comes to that 'L' word. If anything I think I've gotten worse. Haha. Figures right? I guess I just have to take baby steps and see what happens.

"My fear

is of the dark.

What do you fear?

Perhaps a broken heart?

Now of that, I am

terrified."

-By Me

Where did all of this sudden burst of truth/honesty/openness come from? Haha. I find it funny for some reason. I can't lie even though I know sometimes I should. Like in this blog... maybe I should be more careful about the things I say on here, but it feels like the only place I can be me/say what's on my mind and not be paranoid about what people are thinking of me. There are only a handfull of people I trust/feel really, truly comfortable talking to/being around/being me.

Thank you to those people...

Nikki Molina, Maddie Sharp, Kelsey Boisvin, &Eric Jacobsen.

I'm sorry if you're thinking I can't trust you or anything, but it takes me a while to warm up to some people and really trust them. I don't know why, but it's hard for me to trust anyone. It's the comfort zone thing. I'm working on that one, but it kind of falls under the 'L' word too, so it might be a while.

Agenda.

• Wheelchair Event at KW ? Maybe.
• Set building? Maybe.
• Movie with mother & sister? Maybe.
• Visit grandmother? Maybe.
• Work on health video? Maybe.
• Go to the library? Maybe.

Wow. I really DON'T know what I'm going to do tomorrow.

It all depends on that my mother decides I guess.

New Days.

Dang. I think I write too much/too often... What does it mean? I think I just like writing, but I can't help reading into things so much. I need to stop overthinking. Maybe one of these days I should just stop thinking all together. It'd be nice.

Ah, I don't even know. Haha. I can't seem to make any sense lately... I'm just weird I guess and there's nothing I can do about it. Anyway, today I went to church. Haha. Ummm, it wasn't all I expected it to be, but it wasn't exactly a bad thing I guess. It was fun especially towards the end. I'm not sure if I can sum up today. I'm just confused about many things right now. Maybe I'll get into it another time.

Do people actually read everything I write? Heeeellooooooo! Haha.

So If you noticed I have a new playlist to the left, to the left... haha. There are only 3 songs and the 3rd one, Mario Kart Love Song, is kind of silly. Haha. The only reason I put it on was because I thought it was cute. xD

Song 1, The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script... it's a song that keeps coming to my mind lately. Then the 2nd song has always been a favorite. Marie Digby is just amazing. I couldn't find a song by her called Crazier Things! It seems so appropriate with how I feel! Ugh. Haha. Oh well.


I have a post... that I actually wrote on a notepad, but it's super long. I don't want to post it today, but it seems like something I need to post someday. So someday I will. You'll just have to wait and see. It probably won't make any sense anyway.

Geez... I'm just all over the place tonight. Haha. I'm going to study because it seems like something I should be doing right now. Good night.

Bored.

Hahahaha. This is what happens when I'm on msn and remember that button on my webcam takes pictures/snapshots. Hahahaha. Ridiculous. (:

Not Fighting.

Ok, so I decided that I'm not going to fight this anymore. I'm going to go with the flow instead of going against it. It's just easier that way. Whatever happens happens. My number one priority/focus is (or at least should be) my school work and stuff. Second, my sister/family. Then my friends. Then falling in love. Or falling in general. I'm so tired of trying to figure this out... I'm done with it.

So I wrote another poem during 3rd period today, so I thought I'd post it on here. Its short and seemed more appropriate for this blog than my other one. I do have another poem I wrote in 5th period though that I'll be posting there in a second. Check it out and let me know what you think: http://mltpoetry.blogspot.com/

Not Knowing
What am I falling for?
Am I falling for him...
or the idea of him?

Not knowing scares me
and I am terrified.
It's hard for me
to understand my own feelings
let alone anothers.


So like I said in a previous post... seriously though.
I think I'm gonna try to follow my friends advice
and drop out of this race.
There's just going to be some kind of heart break at the end.

Why?

First of all... I'm going to take off my playlist for now because there's this song I really like... the video will be at the bottom of this post. Haha.

Anyway...
I just realized that I write a lot. Is it too much? I guess this is what happens when my dad isn't around. Usually I tell him everything, but I can't tell him anything when he's not here. =/

I don't think I have much to say right now... *thinking...* I really should be asleep. Haha.

Oh yeah! I completely forgot about golf! I need to practice super badly. Someone told me about some tournaments next month (February) and I haven't really practiced since the season ended. Gahhh... I should start practicing again because the girl I usually play with has gotten wayyyyy better than me. Haha. She shot a 93... which is pretty damn good when you play 18-holes. My best on an 18 was 105 or 108.

My golfing goals this year:
-Shoot under a 50 when playing 9-holes
-Under 100 when playing 18

Ok... I think that's all I wanted to rant about. Haha.
Back to homework... or not.

Spaz.

Is it weird that I really want to play my x-box... I haven't played in soooo long! I really want to play MW2. My cousins were playing on Christmas Eve and wouldn't give up the controller/a controller. Selfish basterds. Just kidding!!! (: But seriously, I want to playyyy. I think that's how I'm going to spend my weekend. Playing Halo & Gears of War. Haha. Someone buy me Call of Duty and/or Modern Warfare!!

ANYWAY...
Favorite songs right now (all on my playlist): Napoleon Says by Phoenix, Kings & Queens by 30STM, and A-Punk by Vampire Weekend.

•1/20(Today): My mask presentation was a huge success! I got it out of the way and I think it was the best presentation I have ever done. I'm happy. Haha. And I think the circular saw is fun to use. Read into that whatever way you'd like. Haha.

•1/22(Friday): English Vocab. Final Exam... definitely NOT ready. D:

•1/25(Monday): English ISN binders are due... DONE! But cannot be found! Crap.

•1/29(Friday): Peking Acrobats! Forgot to ask about teching... again. Haha.

I wrote a new poem! Please read it. Actually please read all of my poems. Comment them and let me know what you think. Thanks!

I'm not even going to get into the guy situation.



Ok, I lied. Haha. So I determined that the guy that scares me (see yesterday's post) isn't worth my time. I think I'll stick with being his friend. He just seems to be the kind of guy that flirts with every girl. I was just another girl I guess. It's ok though. Just a little bruise to my heart. I'll live.

And then the guy I asked to TOLO... I've been told that he seemed confused/unsure about going with me or something when a friend asked him about it. I don't even know how to read into that. I'm scared to do that. Ugh.

I think I'm gonna try to follow my friends advice, drop out of this race.
There's just going to be some kind of heart break at the end.

Wrap-Up/Recap+Plans &Confusion

•1/16(Saturday): Big fight with mom... attempt at family bonding... went to Denny's... visited Grandmother... then saw the Book of Eli. It was a pretty good movie.

•1/18(Monday/Yesterday): My first day at the museum was amazing! I love the people there. Then hung out with Nikki, her boi, & their friend Patrek. Saw the Spy Next Door with Jackie Chan which was a lot better than I thought'd it be. It was a good day. (:

•1/19(Today): I did better on my bio quiz than I thought I'd do, B-!! And I got to hang out with Kels at the library where I also ran into Sonja&other people! I love the library. Haha.

•1/20(Wednesday/Tomorrow): I am completely... almost... sort of prepared for my mask presentation! Oh and we have to present our power tool 6th period (circular saw). The joy of presentations! Gah.

•1/22(Friday): English Vocab. Final Exam... ehhhh, sorta (NOT) ready. xD

•1/25(Monday): English ISN binders are due... DONE!

•1/29(Friday): Peking Acrobats! Still gotta ask about teching. (:

I think I'm going to write a new poem soon. I don't know. I feel the emotion to do it, but I don't feel the energy to pick up a pen. Haha. Ummm... my 'love life' if that's what you want to call it kind of got a little complicated. I don't know.

-It was like... as soon as I asked that guy to Tolo... something had to happen, two somethings. Maddie says it's fate, but why is fate being so unfair right now? I've been crushing on that guy for 2/3 years now and I should be happy that we're going to Tolo together, right? I don't know.

-Yesterday, I met this cool guy, but we just met so I'm not really going to worry about that. I mean I like him, but think it would be really hard to get to know him. Especially since we're probably not going to see each other much.

-And then today there was this guy... and I don't even know what to make of him. He scares me, but not like in the 'intimidating, he's gonna hurt me' kind of way. It's more like... he's being 'really sweet, but I'm afraid to believe/trust everything he says.' I like him... but I just don't know.


Gah, relationships. I don't even want to worry about them or try to have one right now. I don't think it's worth the trouble or stress right now... but then again I'm very bipolar about this, so gahhhh. Haha.

Today was a good day, but super weird.

Confused.

I'm not sure what to do. I suppose I should be doing homework, but I don't know how I feel about anyone anymore. I've officially decided that I'm not looking for a relationship, but whatever happens happens. I know it might sound bad to some people, but I don't seem to have the time...

That's a lie. I don't know what it is. I think it's that I don't know how to be in a relationship and it scares me. There are so many things in life that are pretty straightforward and you are given specific directions on how to do something, but this isn't one of those things. Life isn't one of them either, but I'm not worried about that. At least not yet. I seem to be doing pretty well when it comes to life so far. It's the other 'L' word I guess. Love. I don't think I believe in it. At least not at this age. I believe that when I get older I will believe it, but not now. I don't think you can find love at 15. I think I might be just saying that though.

I'm just all screwed up from watching so many romantic comedy movies and this past week. Gah, how I hate being a hopeless romantic I guess you could say. Haha.

Today, January 18th, 2010 was a pretty good day.
-First day of work.
-Then hanging out with Nikki & two other guys.

It's crazy how one day can make you crazy. Haha.

But then again I could be just saying that. (:

Loving Life.

Haha. Remember the stress I was having? Well I'm feeling so much better now. Hahaha. So below will be the list of my stressors in a different light, plus some extra events, starting with accomplishments of the day...

•1/15(Today): #1 thing = He said yes! Now we just need to come up with a bigger group of people to go with us. (:
-- Theatre Tech. Power Tool Presentations went on longer than expected so my partner and I don't have to present until Tuesday, 1/19

•1/16(Saturday): Tomorrow is kind of family bonding... watching the Book of Eli. Then a study group/hang out.

•1/18(Monday): My first day at the Washington State History Museum of Tacoma as a volunteer on MLK day! Then hanging out with Nikki, her boi, &another guy ;D

•1/19(Tuesday): My outside reading project is due and I WILL finish my 2-3 page reflection.
-- But the period before that there is an AP biology ch. 9 quiz which I am totally ready for.

•1/20(Wednesday): I am completely prepared for my mask presentation!

•1/22(Friday): English Vocab. Final Exam... ehhhh, sorta ready. xD

•1/25(Monday): English ISN binders are due... DONE!

•1/29(Friday): Turns out the Peking Acrobats are in town like a day sooner than I thought. I still gotta ask about teching (:

So I still need to talk to this one guy about being on the yearbook staff next year and I gotta talk to Ms. Lloyd about walking her dogs... finally gonna somekind of paying job. Hahahah. (: Been a good day and looking forward to dress shopping/TOLO... :D

The Stress! &Excitement?

Ahhhh! I don't know why I'm freaked out so much. It might be because of my time of the month, but who knows. I just think that TOM magnifies anything you're feeling. Ugh. Haha. Anyway, these next two weeks are freaking me out! Well the whole rest of January pretty much is freaking me out.

So let's go in chronological order starting with this Friday:

• 1/15(Friday): Theatre Tech. Power Tool Presentation
• 1/18(Monday): I'm going to start working at the Washington State History Museum of Tacoma as a volunteer on MLK day! Which is a HUGE accomplishment!!
• 1/19(Tuesday): My outside reading project is due and I still have to finish my 2-3 page reflection. -- On the same day is an AP bio chapter 9 quiz.
• 1/20(Wednesday): This is the first day of mask presentations for english and I signed up to go second! It was a big step for me... but what the hell was I thinking?!!!!
• 1/22(Friday): English Vocab. Final Exam :(
• 1/25(Monday): English ISN binders are due... ugh. English is kind of drowning me in stress.
• 1/30(Friday): The Peaking Acrobats are going to be in town and I want to volunteer to work that night at the theatre!
  
  It's gonna be a busy... rest of the month? Crap, I keep forgetting to talk to this one guy about being on the yearbook staff next year too. OH and I forgot to mention that I'm trying to work up the courage to ask this one guy to the Tolo dance in February.

Ah! Wish me luck? I'm gonna need it. xD

Happiness.

Just Another Day

Just another day? Ohkay, not really. I don't know what makes today different from all the rest, but it feels like it is. I feel like my life has slowed down, but sped up all at the same time. Is that possible? I think I'm mixing my poetic expressions into this blog. I'm on an emotional roller coaster right now because it's that time of the month again and it kind of sucks.

Anyways, other than the above, my life seems to be going great. I think I'm quitting LiveJournal and just going to use blogger or blogspot or whatever this site is called now. So as you can see the title of this blog is 'My Life, Goals, & Achievements.' I'll sometimes rant in this blog, abandon it from time to time, but mostly I'll make a list of goals. I can guarantee now that there will be several lists because I try not to edit a post once I've pressed enter. When I accomplish something that I'm proud of or something really small/silly, I'll talk about it here. I don't like to brag about stuff, but I do. Does that make sense? I don't know. Haha. I haven't been making much sense lately, or at least I don't think I have. xD

Now this was kind of an explanation post/rant. I just really wanted to talk about some achievements I was able to make today, but I didn't really have anyway to do so. I decided to start this blog. I made a blog last night that I plan to dedicate all to my poetry, but I'll go into that another time.

So here were my two big accomplishments of the day:

• Raised my quarter & semester grade for AP biology up to a 'B'
• Had no soda or caffine of any kind

The first one made me super happy because I finally fixed my grade. The semester ends on February 5th, so there is now still hope for that 'A-' that I am shooting for. I might even get an 'A' if I work hard enough.

The second thing might be kind of silly to other people, but for me it was a big step. I kept on telling myself 'Today will be the day that I stop drinking soda!' But I kept drinking soda and it was ridiculous. Finally TODAY was the day that I finally had the willpower to NOT drink any soda or caffine. And even though it's still really hard to resist taking a sip of soda or coffee, I'm going to keep resisting because I'm pretty determined now. Haha.