Today...

I hope to die

to go out

without

those sappy

bullshit goodbyes.

So Kels, Alz, & I just finished this horror fest movie marathon thing last night. And I realized that I have a good life and that if I were to have fallen asleep and never woken up last night, I would've been ok with that. I'm falling into a state of self-loathing and depression. I've lost touch with people who used to mean so much to me. And yet, I don't care anymore. I keep feeling like I'm shit and just an awful person. Am I? I feel like I am. So what would it matter if there was one less shitty person in the world... that would be nice wouldn't it? Alright. I'm going to go and try to feel better because I know that I'm not completely worthless... not yet anyway. I know I need to stop acting like this and stop talking like this, but sometimes I just don't know. So I'll go. Who knows... maybe I'll post later about how I had a better day, but no one really cares because no one actually reads these stupid things. xD

At least I'm hoping no one reads them because I'd feel less shitty and stupid.