What of life?

So life had been good to me. And I'm seeing the beauty of friendship and helping others out even if you don't know them. I believe that just because it is raining, it doesn't have to be a bad day or a sad day. I know that there are things that will hurt us, but those things make us stronger and we learn from them. I've learned in this life that you can't keep things inside. It's not healthy. It can kill you. I've learned that no matter what, two people can be friends for a long while.

I realize now that it was a lot of my fault and just... I don't know. I don't want to call them wrong decisions, because they didn't feel wrong. I guess I just kind of jumped the gun. I just don't know how to balance so many things at once. And I feel so selfish and it wasn't fair. I'm sorry. I'm still learning. I don't know. Someday it'll make sense, but that day wasn't today.

Life has been good to me, but it wasn't easy and didn't come free. Many obstacles have been overcome, but there are still many to come, whether or not I'm ready for them. Hard decisions have been made and there are still many I need to make for myself. I can never find the right words to say. I can feel the things I want to say, but the words can never take shape and form. It sucks, but that's life. My life anyway. I don't know about anyone else.

This is kind of random ranting post of word/mind vomit. Gross analogy, but somewhat effective. I love being busy and working. I think I'll end up being a workaholic when I'm older because I actually enjoy it. I know it's kind of lame, but I can't help it. I wouldn't mind it either if it weren't for the consequences... always working means no free time... means stress... and increased risk of a heart attack. Haha. Last one is true, but just a random thing. I'm more worried about the first couple things. I know from some kind of experience that working all the time and not taking a break can cause mental breakdowns and loss of social skills. It's not fun, but it happens. When I used to not care about the people that I knew because I thought we'd never be friends forever and crap I was ok with it. Now that I've learned that friendships and other things might actually last... I've had a near complete change of heart. I mean I'd still rather work and stuff than face things, but that's me. Nothing lasts forever and nothing is ever perfect. But some things last for a while and when they do it's amazing. And sometimes when something isn't perfect... it just means it's real.

I think people just need to look on the bright side of things and try to make the most of what they have. I'm not saying that I'm optimistic. I'm not saying I'm anything. That doesn't mean I don't believe in certain things. That also doesn't give you the right to say that I'm anything I may or may not be. Haha. Random again kinda. xD

And I told myself I'd never be the kind of girl to cry over anything or anyone. I didn't think it would feel like this though. I don't know. Not saying that I did cry or am going to. Just saying that I have that feeling... ugh, I can't explain it. Whatever. I'm going to do school shit. Maybe write an essay or two for the hell of it. I know! Kind of lame and dorky again. xDDDD Anyway, that was just some stuff I felt like saying. So it has been said. Maybe it'll be read. Who knows. That's life. Enjoy it.