I kind of hate myself on all kinds of levels today. I just don't know. I'm so close to tears, but I don't want to cry because I don't want that feeling of weakness and defeat right now. Even thought I know I've been beated and defeated. I feel like such an awful person and I was just really stupid today. I don't want to leave my room because I know what I did was stupid and shit and I don't want to face them. I just hate myself and today in general. I don't know what to do about it right now. I wish I'd stop being so stupid.
- AF. Stupid bastard.
- Stupid cards.
- Stupid windows movie player.
- Stupid sister.
- Stupid Mara.
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."— Marilyn Monroe.
This was going to be the best week and it's still going to be. I'm going to get over this. But I really, really hate myself right now. Right now, in the moment, it feels like I'll never get over this. I hate this.
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