High as a kite...

Hahahaha. Alright... so painting all day... I think it was a bad idea to close the door and window. xD I'm bummed out that Brian couldn't come over, but Madds & I still had tons of fun. I cannot wait for tomorrow! Hanging out at Brian's how then midnight premiere of Eclipse. I'm not a crazy Twilight fan, but I think it'll be fun.

Stupid Heart.

I feel you there and feel your hair.
I hope to catch at least one stare.

Blah. Sad attempt at poetry. Haha. I'm at a loss for words. I'm just too busy to write. I'm working on getting my room finished. I'm actually thinking that this might be the best summer of my life. A lot of things have been getting done and I'm happy for it. My room should be finished this week. We start painting tomorrow. We being Maddie, Brian, and I. Maybe Danny. I'm excited. I've been spending so much time with them and I kind of love it. Haha. We made root beer floats cuz Madds just had her wisdom teeth pulled out.

I still need to hang out with Susan and have that TV show marathon. And chill with Kels and watch some Supernatural and shizzz. Haha. Oh and I've gotta talk to Natalie about that job... if that falls through I can talk to Ms. Lloyd. So it's all good. I'm hoping to get my license real soon. My dad says I need more practice and I don't doubt it. So I'll be taking the test whenever he thinks I'm ready because I trust him.

Things have been real good. Like I haven't been extremely lazy and I've been getting along well with my family and friends and stuff. I'm learning to balance things and stuff. I'm doing a lot of things that I haven't done before. Like on Tuesday we're going hang out at Brian's. The plan is to sit on his roof and watch the sunset and in order to get on his roof we'd need to climb a tree... that's three things I'll be able to cross off my bucket list. I'm pretty happy about that. Haha. And I'll be able to cross off renovating my room. I'm not sure what my next project will be after that... I probably wanna try and get my license asap. That way it'll be easier to go golfing that way I don't have to wait on my dad and stuff. Cuz I really need to get some practice in and start my lessons. Then I think I'll try to get our [Dad&I] online shop up and running.

So let's see... what needs to get done...

• Bedroom renovation
• License
• Online store
• Golf/Lessons
• Dig up fence posts/design&start garden
• Get a job

Other upcoming thingsssss...

• Painting tomorrow
• Brian's on Tuesday & Midnight Premiere of Eclipse w/Madds & co.
• Chill with Madds on Wednesday... maybe finish up room
• Camping Thursday thru Sunday
• 4th of July fireworks!
• Movie group date w/Madds

Room Remodel.

I am so excited to paint my room. I'm going to move around the furniture and try to give myself more space in my tiny bedroom. I plan to paint all but the wall opposite of my window a lightish sky blue... then paint the remaining wall a darker navy type blue. This, I have recently learned, is considered an accent wall (: Kind of like Nikki & Kelso's walls... I actually wanted to use shades of green to be more original, but I figured blue would go better with my carpet which I now kind of wish was black. Hahaha. Anyway, I'm going to have a lime or neon green type paint and have a line towards the top go all the way around my room. I'm probably going to have little designs and stuff within that line as well

Originally I wanted to paint my ceiling black and put glow in the dark stars on it, but my dad didn't approve... now I'm having this conversation with an old buddy and I want to paint the inside of my closet black and put glow in the dark stars everywhere inside.... I'll ask my dad about it when he gets back from Denver xD Wish me luck? lol

Funny conversation w/old bestie Dakota...

I kinda feel bad for my aunt who is probably recieving a ton of notifications. xD

Mystery Biker Guy.

I don't know you
but I want to.
I watch you riding
no use in hiding.

I know it's a little weird, but there's this guy that goes out on his dirt bike in the tracks across the street... I'm tempted to talk to him. He was there yesterday and kept looking over. He looked as though he wanted to cross the street, but Brian was there. Today I was riding the quad on my own while Madds & Brian were off somewhere. This Mystery Biker made it half way across and looked my way. He nodded and waved... so I waved back. Then he left and thank God he did because the quad shut down on me. Haha. Something inside was kind of hoping he was still there. Then he could've maybe helped me start it up again. But that's just another fantasy within this one. Oh Mystery Biker Guy, I wish to get to know you. Please don't be an old scary creepy serial killer. Haha. (:

What? A girl can dream...

Week of Awesome(ness).

Today:

• Hang with Maddie, Brian, Danny, &Megan at Noon.
• Quad riding, guitar hero, &twister!
• Then go to Maddie's Summer League game at 6PM.

Tomorrow:

• Toy Story 3 w/Mom&Sister

Friday:

• Wish Madds luck with her surgery
• Mall w/ Kels&Croce?

Saturday:

• Museum

Sunday:

• Go to Maddie's w/Brian&Danny.
• Bring root beer, vanilla ice cream, and Leap Year. (:

Monday:

• Relax. Clean. Get room ready to paint.

Tuesday:

• Hang w/Maddie, Brian, &Jerame.
• Midnight premiere of Eclipse.
• Madds spend the night.

Summer 2010.

This is by far the best summer of my life so far. I feel like it's actually pretty productive and fun at the same time. I'm keeping myself busy and still I'm having a lot of fun and relaxing time and stufffff. Hahaha. I've got some goals and stuff and there are a lot of things I've done already with my friends and family.

Already done:

• Sleeping in until 10AM
• Learned to how to grill
• Cirque Du Solei Kooza
• Made brownies
• Quad riding
• Ran around on the streets
• Modern Warfare
• Adventures!
• Played in the dirt.
• Hung out with Maddie & Brian & Danny...
• Saw Saving Private Ryan

Goals:

• Get license.
• Paint/remodel room (w/Madds&Brian?)
• Start website w/Dad.
• Get a job (w/Natalie?)
• Design garden.
• Dig up fence posts.
• Have a summer fling?
• Camping with Madds, Danny, & Brian?
• Climb a tree & sit on a rooftop. (Soon, w/Maddie&Brian)
• Build a treehouse and burn it down (Brian's idea, lol)

Bucket list (: http://www.theburiedlife.com/profile/745335494/

greatest dream for where you want your life to go? job,family the whole shebang

I want my life to be a happy one. I want to get through college with a PhD... then travel the world. I want a career I love and become successful. Then meet the man of my dreams and have a kid or two. All while donating books and money to those who need it. Help homeless youth and help youth in general/every way. I don't know... I think life is full of wants and needs, but not enough time.

Ask me a question... I'll give you an answer.

Advertising. College... future.

Alright, so I know I've changed my mind about so many thing when it come to my future, but I think I've finally found my calling.

I was thinking about becoming an archivist because they keep record of things and catalog artifacts. I even heard they got to put together exhibits. And I thought, "hey, I'm organized and stuff... I think I'd be good at this." Then I realized that the only part I might've actually enjoyed was the rare occasion to create a presentation of some sort. I don't want to do something just because I'm good at it. I want to do something that I will enjoy and maybe even fall in love with. I want to be able to be really good at something and have fun doing it. That's when I realized that I'm not THAT into history and crap. I want to do more art stuff and put together presentations and posters and all the stuff that going into advertising art will allow me.

I want to study advertising and marketing and business and stuff so that I can eventually get into the advertising business. Becoming an Advertising/Promotions Manager is kind of a new dream for me.

Dream school = Boston University (:

Plan? Major in Advertising or Business Administration/Management or Marketing or Graphic Design... Double major and minor... get a PhD...

Shaft _____ ;)

Pretty Bad Ass Day.

Still celebrating 16 years of life.

Woke up. Skipped school.

Saw A-Team, then Karate Kid.

Starbucks afterward.

Grande Caramel Double

Chocolatey Chip Frappuccino.

No coffee in about a month...!

Home... made plans with friends, sort of.

Store to buy supplies.

Bought UNO & Inglorius Basterds.

Madds & Catherine came over.

Played UNO. Had Balloon Fight.

Watched Community&HowIMetYourMother.

Brian finally came over.

Ate food/nachos and other random shiz.

Started watching the Hangover.

Didn't finish/stopped in the middle.

Played a weird game with my DVD's!

Shaft Wanted! Shaaaaaft. Nuff' said.

Started watching Zombieland.

Again we didn't finish it.

Went out to the bon fire for a little.

Talked about stuff, stuff, and stuff.

Nerded out about Runescape!

Went on YouTube!

Fin.

Haha. That was my day.

Well, after we dropped everyone home...

I cleaned up a little bit.

Then watched Inglorius Basterds w/Padre

&played UNO with Padre and seester. (:

I love friends & family.

Good night. ♥

(P.S. We were able to successful pants Brian.

Twice. :D)

Sweet & Sour (Not so much...)

Best day ever.

16 at last.

Balloons. Food. & Laughs galore.

♥Family so much. Tears of happiness.

Apologizes and amazing group members.

Dinner at Sea Garden. Then Baskin Robbins!

Watermelon, limited time flavor = favorite!

Phone call. Screams & Tears & Joy!

1st Place for Teen Division Poetry Contest. (:

Day One of Sweet Sixteen

was a blast!

Tomorrow's agenda:

• Skippin' school!
• Spend time with fam!
• A-Team then sneak into Karate Kid!!
• Hair cut?!
• Hang with friends!

George Michaels.

Highlights:

• 2 days til 16th birthday.
• Madds is back from Rhode Island & brought me back chocolate lobsters! (:
• Jacobsen thinks I've taken a web design class before when in fact I am just naturally awesome at coding. xD
• Natalie Shannon and her amazing summer job opportunity. $$$ ;D
• 100% on last ISN check. ^_^
• Crazy friend, Amrit! 0.o
• Dad fixed ipod! =D
• Productive day................ @(^_^)@ <-- Monkey. lol.

Downers:

• Stupid counselors.
• Super undecided. Yearbook vs. Tech.
• English group... mainly one person. Awful guilt trip. Made me hate myself.
• Bitchy CWI teacher.

This weeks agenda:

• Tomorrow: school, CWI religion test, COMPASS test after school.
• Thursday: Birthday (: moving up assembly... bye, bye Sen10rs :(
• Friday: Skipping school! Going to see the A-Team with my family and then sneak into the Karate Kid with'em. Haha. Then maybe go out to eat at Sea Garden. For my birthday (:
• Saturday: Roller blading maybe with friends or something fun. Then dinner at some apparently awesome buffet with the rest of my family. Haha.
• Sunday: Study, study, project, eat, study, sleep. Hahahaha. That's life!

It's gonna be a good week (:

Sam Tsui.

Yeah, I'd have to say that this has been one of the best weekends ever!

First off, Kelsey and I saw Edward Norton on Friday at the Egyptian Theatre in Seattle for SIFF (Seattle International? Film Festival). We were in the second row (: He was accepting an award for Outstanding Actor. We saw his latest film Leaves of Grass and it was great! (: Doesn't actually come out til July 2nd... :D

The next day we ate some pho as always. We went to my grandmas after we dropped off Kels. My family and I were all singing Karaoke to a bunch of old people at the home. Hahaha. It was pretty amazing. My favorite song to sing with them was Can You Feel the Love Tonight? You can picture it and just imagine what you will... lol.

Afterwards my dad, sister, and I went to my cousins baseball game. Words can't describe how blissfully happy I was to be there. They didn't win, but it was a great match. They were undefeated in their league and were literally playing kids outside their league yesterday. They did awesome.

Now it's Sunday and school is tomorrow and I'm fearless. (: I ate my mom's awesome spaghetti this morning for a brunch type of thing. Then I did a lot of school work. Just about finished with my project due tomorrow. I'm glad. And I've decided to start doing scholarship contests and stuff like that. I literally just got out of the hot tub 5 minutes ago, so I've gotta go shower. Then I'll be going to see Killers with me padre. I'm excited. I love life at the moment.

Oh and I've stopped with the stupid AF thing. I was an idiot and I'm done with whatever phase I'd been going through. I'm in love with a great guy, but well... that's a different story. Bye for now.

Listen to Sam Tsui's cover of Unwell by Matchbox 20...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WAlRcxSjCw

GRO♥

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us — don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.
-- Emily Dickinson

Learning by Green River Ordinance

If I could be just what you need

Maybe we'd be better off

Different lives and different dreams

Calling out from underneath

Any thought'll be alright

If I could turn this car around

Only drive into the flames

All the things that we've burned down

Wonder which one will remain

Please take your time

Just do this for me

Let me be the one you run to

For the rest of your life

I'd give up everything to show you

To show you there's still time

I could be the one you run to

For the rest of your life

i'm still learning how to love you

You are the only one that's worth the fight

I wish you'd learn to let this go

Lay your troubles down on me

Give me one more chance to show

I'll be all you'll ever need

Please take your time

Just do this for me

Let me be the one you run to

For the rest of your life

I'd give up everything to show you

To show you there's still time

I could be the one you run to

For the rest of your life

i'm still learning how to love you

You are the only one that's worth the fight

Don't hold your heart too long

You'll find yourself alone

You've got time

We've got time

Let me be the one you run to

For the rest of your life

I'd give up everything to show you

To show you there's still time

I could be the one you run to

For the rest of your life

i'm still learning how to love you

i'm still learning how to love you

Let me be the one you run to

I could be the one you run to

Let me be the one you run to

For the rest of your life

i'm still learning how to love you

You are the only one that's

worth the fight

burning up inside.

I kind of hate myself on all kinds of levels today. I just don't know. I'm so close to tears, but I don't want to cry because I don't want that feeling of weakness and defeat right now. Even thought I know I've been beated and defeated. I feel like such an awful person and I was just really stupid today. I don't want to leave my room because I know what I did was stupid and shit and I don't want to face them. I just hate myself and today in general. I don't know what to do about it right now. I wish I'd stop being so stupid.

• AF. Stupid bastard.
• Stupid cards.
• Stupid windows movie player.
• Stupid sister.
• Stupid Mara.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

— Marilyn Monroe.

This was going to be the best week and it's still going to be. I'm going to get over this. But I really, really hate myself right now. Right now, in the moment, it feels like I'll never get over this. I hate this.